As a girl in my early forties, I like to think I’ve learned a few things four decades on this earth beyond the perfect salmon recipe, how to apply a passable smoky eye and the magic of uniform dressing. In addition to these life-changing lessons, I’ve had some bigger A-HAs and earned some battle scars along the way.
1. Be Transparent. I have spent much of my life being a pleaser. Answering questions, performing tasks, doing activities based on what I thought I should be doing. Recently, I realized that being honest with my intentions and choosing the life I want is the only path to true happiness. Instead of waiting for my ‘someday’ life to appear, I have to consciously build it with each decision and choice day by day.
2. Be Vulnerable. I lived much of my twenties, and if I’m honest, my thirties, being scared of being found out. Of not being good enough, smart enough, anything enough. Once I learned to embrace my imperfections and to wear them openly on my sleeve, I felt a huge relief. The more I admit I don’t know, the more I’m opening myself up to the universe to teach me. And life is scary enough without having to pretend I have my s*&! perfectly together.
3. Show Up. Especially for friends + family. I am a closeted introvert, and this can sometimes keep me from truly connecting with friends, family or new people in my life. As I turned 40, I made a vow to make more of an effort to show up, have meaningful conversations and seek out new relationships. For me, this looks like:
+asking interesting strangers to lunch or a drink to learn more about them and their passions
+volunteering for causes I’m passionate about to learn how I can make a difference
+making a conscious effort to check in with meaningful relationships randomly to stay connected.
This has brought me so much joy, so much deeper connection to my purpose and the world…I hate that I didn’t fully SHOW UP until recently.
4. Speak your Truth. Every time I (over)share my truth, I build a bridge to another human. I spark a connection, an idea, a small drop that can have a ripple effect. For me, my truth is that I’m on a journey to learn, to live and to make the world a better place. I’m open to new experiences, relationships, opportunities and when I share this with my circle – I am amazed by the cheering, fist pumps, introductions, helpful tips, sage advice + criticism that comes my way. Bring. It. On.
5. Be You. This is the toughest one on this list for me. Especially with the unending stream of perfectly curated social media accounts feeding in my insecurities and secret competition to measure my life against someone else’s yardstick. But I am learning + working to accept that I am worthy, unique, beautiful. Not by anyone else’s standards but mine. Until I live this and own this, how can I hope to inspire or teach anyone (most importantly my daughter) to do the same?
We are all works in progress, learning and growing every day. What are some of the tips + lessons you’ve learned along your way?