Sitting in Stillness: How I Hear Myself.

stillness.  how i learned to listen to myself.
from The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein

I’m a doer. A list-maker, a voracious reader, an internet explorer. You got a problem, I can throw a million, well-researched (and often contradictory) ideas at you to try. Recently – I’m seeing that this habit, while good in some regards, is not helping me in my biggest mission of unlocking my best me.

Finding my purpose. My true north. My WHY.  This has been something I’ve been working on for a bit.  Reading about it, trying to find the BEST way to find the BEST me.  There are many research articles written on exactly this topic – over 45 million on my last google search.   I know unlocking the gift that is YOU probably isn’t as easy as a quick internet search.  If it were, I’d venture to guess we’d have a planet FULL of highly evolved humans.  With fewer problems all around, and a lot LESS ego (goodbye Trump.)  I’m beginning to think unlocking my purpose is an inside job…meaning something I can only do by getting really good at listening to me, and shutting out the noise of the outside world.

the someday project. sitting in stillness.

Finding my purpose means being okay with silence. With the unknown. With sitting and remembering what it’s like to just listen to my heart, to the universe with no expectations.  Or plan.   Or to-do list.  As a single mom, type A personality, this sitting does not come easy to me.  I’ve found that the sitting in stillness, the getting comfortable in the uncomfortable is the best way for me to hear me.  I am able to think new thoughts. To connect the dots of the universe hovering around me. To find love and compassion for myself in the here and now.

the someday project.  sitting in stillness.

So, what does sitting in stillness look like?   I’ve found 3 things that work best:
+Meditation. I’m a new(ish) convert to meditation and have dabbled on and off with it for the past 5 years. In the past year, I’ve finally found my rhythm thanks to this app.  I do it at least 4 times per week and have even introduced it to my daughter when she needs some calm reflection in her life.
+Yoga. I aim for 2 – 3 yoga sessions / week. My favorite for connecting to my brain is Yin Yoga. A slower paced practice that holds asanas for 2 – 5 minutes, and really allows me to connect with my breath and my brain. I love to do this class in a studio, to get the full experience from the setting, the sound and the energy of the people around me.
+Sitting outside (with no distractions). I’ve recently begun sipping my morning coffee on the quiet deck in the back of my house. That quick morning ritual – is a quiet connection to nature. It’s a signal that brings mindfulness to my day, right from the start, connecting me to the bigger universe outside my head.

I’m still not 100% sure what my purpose is, and I’m not sure I 100% will EVER know.  But I’m listening to me.  To my heart and my soul.  And I’m making decisions from a place of knowing what I want, versus from a place of what everyone else wants for me.  For today, I think that’s a pretty damn good start…